Excerpt from Chicken Bone Man:
The kid I hang around with is a wonder for playing
the piano. So one morning I'm sitting outside
under the breakfast room window listening to
him gab to his sister Gertie about the Vaudeville
Revue down at Loew's Palace. In between eating
up quite a few slices of his old lady's toast
and jelly, Berl says, "Read the part again about
Princess Rajah and her snakes."
Gertie rattles
the newspaper and acts like her valuable time
is being wasted. "It says here
that Princess Rajah, the headliner act in the
Vaudeville Revue down at Loew's Palace Theater,
charms her snakes by playing an old-timey rag
number on the piano."
I happen to know the kid is planning a career
for himself with regard to the piano. So when
Gertie takes a quick breather from opening her
face, I say through the screen, "Hey, kid, it
just so happens I'm friendly with a frosty blond
by the name of Hortense in the dancing dog act
that's playing the Vaudeville Revue. You want
her to get you in stout with the management?
I figure she goes woofle-woofle in the right
party's ear, you're a shoo-in at the next Amateur
Night auditions."
"Jerry's driving me crazy with his barking," Gertie
says to Berl. "I bet it's his mange. Rub him
down with coal oil."
That Gertie's a pill. How am I supposed to show
my mug to Hortense if I'm covered in coal oil?
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